Back to Basics
“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.”
~Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
We are living in troubled times. “Strange days indeed,” in the words of the late John Lennon. The planet, the world, our nation, our communities are all affected by multiple, paradigm-shifting forces. I find it overwhelming. Deeply troubling. Frightening. Subjected to a relentless barrage of ugliness, it is increasingly tempting to tune out, or to succumb to the vitriol. I have done both. I don’t like either.
Which for me begs the question: what to do? What does one do with the grief, fear, pain, violence, and harshness? What does one do with the difficult thoughts and feelings that these events engender? There are a number of potential answers to those questions, but what I keep coming back to is the concept of values.
Our values are our north star, our moral compass. What we value is, by definition, what we believe is important, worthy of our time and efforts. Values don’t vary by circumstance; they are (or should be) a constant, applicable to all situations.
I recently (and only just) read Meditations, Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius’ personal diary. It is a wonderful window to Stoic philosophy, a way of living that places value-based action as its central core. At the risk of gross oversimplification, Stoic philosophy says, in effect, do the right thing. And the “right thing” should put you in alignment with what the Greeks called logos, and what other traditions might call the Tao, the Universe, God. (So if someone values money or power, that is not in alignment with our universal nature. Not a moral value. Not true north.)
As an emotionally-centered being, I find this philosophy provides a brilliant framework to keep me from becoming overwhelmed by my feelings and provides an answer to the question of what to do. When I ask myself what I believe is most important, at the top of my list are kindness and compassion. To counter my feelings of helplessness, frustration, and anger, I ask how I might apply kindness to this situation. How might I offer compassion? Then, as I consider taking action, I can lean into these values and do the right thing. I can realign myself, re-focus, and then, act.
I invite you to turn down the noise and really consider what you value. I think you’ll find that it is a remarkably clarifying and life-orienting question. (You can find a helpful list here.) You will be tempted to list many things, but try to narrow it down to two or three of the strongest. If you identify what is most important to you and then focus on actually living it, it might completely change your life. If we all did this, we might completely change the world.
KATE INGRAM, MA, CSBC, is, a holistic counselor, coach, and award-winning author who values personal growth, deep conversations, and good bourbon. Find out more at kintsugicoaching.com or write kate@kintsugicoaching.com.
